This week’s progress is surprising. I didn’t expect to lose this much! Guess I am finally off the plateau I was on for so long. Perhaps it is all the stairs I now take, or the fact that I’ve changed my supplementation a bit (I now take a potassium tablet and have increased my magnesium intake), or the fact that I walk so much more each day, and that when I walk, I walk very fast.
Posted in celebrations, exercise, goals, la guerra, post-op, progreso, reflections, self-image, success, the body is a funny thing, the sleeve, vsg, weight loss surgery, werk!
Tagged being active, being authentic, being real, being thankful, benefits of wls, exercise, goals, I work out, IDGAF, keepin' it real, la guerra, mental health, photo post, post-op life, progreso, progress report, reflections, self-image, she's got skillz, shit is hard, sleeve gastrectomy, sorry for sleeve rocking, swimming, the body is a funny thing, the sleeve, therapy, things of win and awesome, VSG, vsg realness, WLS, workin' on my fitness
The other day at my therapist’s office, I was talking about this post I wrote, in which a polo shirt became a symbol of finally being just like everyone else.
Somehow the conversation turned to my upcoming trip to Kansas City to grade AP exams, being out of my element and having to learn to get some measure of control in an eating environment I have little control over with regard to food choice, portion size, and frequency of feeding. I mentioned that I planned to take a small food scale and quarter-cup measuring cup in an attempt to better control what I ate each day. I also mentioned I was a little uneasy about this because it would look odd to others. Even though I’m now built differently than others on the inside, I want so much to look like everyone else on the outside, right down to my eating behaviors. I want to fit in. I want to be like everyone else.
But even though I’m looking more and more like everyone else, I’m still not the same as everyone else.
I’m missing 75% of my stomach. I’m restricted by my anatomy from eating a full plate of food. I leave food behind. A LOT. I count every protein and carb gram. I take 2 multivitamins and 2 calcium supplements daily. I take a magnesium supplement 3 times a week. I take an iron supplement 4 times a week and a B12 supplement once a week. I count every calorie that passes my lips. I’m learning to run again after not being able to do it for 21 years.
I’m not just like everyone else.
Posted in challenges, eating, expectations, frustrated fat, habits, la guerra, oh behave!, post-op, reflections, the sleeve, vsg, weight loss surgery
Tagged BFD, challenges, choices, consistency, eating, frustrated fat, head trip, la guerra, NSV's, oh behave!, post-op eating, post-op life, self-image, self-sabotage, she's got skillz, shit is hard, sleeve gastrectomy, sorry for sleeve rocking, the struggle is real, therapy, things of win and awesome, VSG, vsg realness, WLS, work that head game
Posted in challenges, frustrated fat, head trips, la guerra, oh behave!, post-op, reflections, self-image, the sleeve, vsg, weight loss surgery
Tagged challenges, Dr. A, fighting the fat girl, head trip, image distortion, oh behave!, photo post, post-op life, reflections, self-image, shit is hard, sleeve gastrectomy, the brain lags behind, the sleeve, the struggle is real, therapy, VSG, vsg realness, work that head game
At what point does your weight start defining you?
At what point does your weight stop defining you?
This week in therapy, I talked about how I felt as though I never let my weight define me in the first place.
My family did that for me.
Posted in challenges, daily bites, eating, head trips, la guerra, post-op, reflections, self-image, the sleeve, therapy, vsg
Tagged challenges, daily bites, eating, fighting the fat girl, frustrated fat, head trips, identity crisis, la guerra, post-op eating, post-op life, reflections, self-image, shit is hard, therapy, VSG, vsg realness, WLS
In my therapy session tonight, my therapist and I talked about how this past week was, and how I responded to the sameness of the scale from last week to this week.
I think I handled things better this week than I did last week but there is still much work to be done up here (tapping head).
Posted in challenges, daily bites, eating, goals, la guerra, post-op, reflections, the sleeve, vsg, weight loss surgery
Tagged daily bites, eating, fitness goals, goal setting, goals, la guerra, mental health, oh behave!, omg I eat carbs!, post-op eating, post-op life, reflections, she's got skillz, shit is hard, sleeve gastrectomy, surgeon's goal, therapy, VSG, vsg realness, WLS, work that head game
I’m not mad about anything I’ve done or not done this week. This week has actually been a pretty okay one, considering it’s period week, my hormones are crazy, my sleeve is gurgly and acidy, and my calories have been over 900 (but under 1000) each day. My protein intake has been pretty high, I’ve walked quite a bit every day (3 miles plus most days), and I’ve been good about getting in my water. I’ve also decided to start taking an antacid before breakfast and dinner to help curb the acidic tummy. It seems to be working.
So what has got me so incensed?
Tonight we watched the last episode of “My 600-pound Life.” The episode we saw was about a woman named Penny.
Posted in daily bites, eating, la guerra, post-op, the sleeve, vsg, weight loss surgery
Tagged daily bites, eating, la guerra, My 600-Pound Life, post-op eating, post-op life, she's got skillz, shit is hard, sleeve gastrectomy, stupid hormones, therapy, VSG, vsg realness, WLS, wtf people?
Last week I wrote a list of the things I can do now that I couldn’t do before I had WLS. I’m pretty sure that at some point, I’d written about what my heaviest weight was–440 pounds. So, today’s list is:
Things I Don’t Miss About Weighing 440 Pounds
(in no particular order)
Today we went to the mall to do some walking after we’d retrieved our Christmas tree from storage. After we’d walked around for about 30 minutes, I stopped in at Coldwater Creek, because they were having a mad sale–50% off everything. I picked up a couple of sweaters for work, a dress shirt for work, and a couple of t-shirts. The best part?
All in a size 18.
Do you know that I have never worn a clothing size that starts with a 1 in my adult life? EVER.
Posted in choices, daily bites, eating, head trips, la guerra, NSV's, post-op, self-image, the sleeve, therapy, vsg, weight loss surgery, what's up doc?
Tagged being thankful, body image, daily bites, eating, la guerra, little celebrations, NSVs, omg I eat carbs!, planning fail!, post-op eating, post-op life, self-image, therapy, things I don't miss, things of win and awesome, VSG, vsg realness, what's up doc?, WLS
This post is going to be a fast one, as I’m slowly excavating myself from under a pile of grading. It is the end of the semester, and grades are due tomorrow at 4, so I’ve been grading like a mofo every night this week. Progress is slow, because it’s all essay reading. But I haven’t forgotten about the blog!
In the next few days, I will:
And now I return to the kitchen table to plow through the last set of essays to grade until bedtime, and then sleep…sweet, sweet sleep. Until tomorrow…
Posted in challenges, la guerra, post-op, support, the sleeve, therapy, vsg, weight loss surgery, what's up doc?, work happens
Tagged being authentic, being real, post-op life, support, therapy, vsg and work, what's coming?, what's up doc?, WLS resources
After getting a few things out in my therapy session tonight, I determined that there is much I still have to learn about this new lifestyle I’ve created for myself.
What is pretty?
Have you ever given it much thought? I don’t want you to give me the societal expectation of pretty.
What is pretty to you? Think about it.
I had to think about this tonight while I sat on my therapist’s couch and told the story of my interaction with the Talbots salesgirl on Saturday. One of the things I left out of my story about my victorious trip there Saturday was this: while we were conversing about our respective struggles with our weight and what we had each done to fight them, she said to me, “You’re so pretty.” I thanked her and our conversation continued.
Posted in challenges, daily bites, eating, head trips, la guerra, post-op, self-image, vsg, weight loss surgery
Tagged challenges, daily bites, head trip, post-op eating, post-op life, self-image, shit is hard, side effects of WLS, the fat girl inside, therapy, VSG, vsg realness, WLS, work that head game
La Guerra de La Gorda 