Tag Archives: therapy

Post-Op Week 63 Progress Report: Legs

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This week’s progress is surprising.  I didn’t expect to lose this much!  Guess I am finally off the plateau I was on for so long.  Perhaps it is all the stairs I now take, or the fact that I’ve changed my supplementation a bit (I now take a potassium tablet and have increased my magnesium intake), or the fact that I walk so much more each day, and that when I walk, I walk very fast.

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Being Different to Be Like Everyone Else

The other day at my therapist’s office, I was talking about this post I wrote, in which a polo shirt became a symbol of finally being just like everyone else.

Somehow the conversation turned to my upcoming trip to Kansas City to grade AP exams, being out of my element and having to learn to get some measure of control in an eating environment I have little control over with regard to food choice, portion size, and frequency of feeding.  I mentioned that I planned to take a small food scale and quarter-cup measuring cup in an attempt to better control what I ate each day.  I also mentioned I was a little uneasy about this because it would look odd to others.  Even though I’m now built differently than others on the inside, I want so much to look like everyone else on the outside, right down to my eating behaviors.  I want to fit in.  I want to be like everyone else.

But even though I’m looking more and more like everyone else, I’m still not the same as everyone else.

I’m missing 75% of my stomach.  I’m restricted by my anatomy from eating a full plate of food.  I leave food behind.  A LOT.  I count every protein and carb gram.  I take 2 multivitamins and 2 calcium supplements daily.  I take a magnesium supplement 3 times a week.  I take an iron supplement 4 times a week and a B12 supplement once a week.  I count every calorie that passes my lips.  I’m learning to run again after not being able to do it for 21 years.

I’m not just like everyone else.

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Image Distortion

Right now I look like this:

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So why do I still think that I look like this:

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Identity Crisis

At what point does your weight start defining you?

At what point does your weight stop defining you?

This week in therapy, I talked about how I felt as though I never let my weight define me in the first place.

My family did that for me.

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Setting New Personal Bests

In my therapy session tonight, my therapist and I talked about how this past week was, and how I responded to the sameness of the scale from last week to this week.

I think I handled things better this week than I did last week but there is still much work to be done up here (tapping head).

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Infuriated

I’m not mad about anything I’ve done or not done this week.  This week has actually been a pretty okay one, considering it’s period week, my hormones are crazy, my sleeve is gurgly and acidy, and my calories have been over 900 (but under 1000) each day.  My protein intake has been pretty high, I’ve walked quite a bit every day (3 miles plus most days), and I’ve been good about getting in my water.  I’ve also decided to start taking an antacid before breakfast and dinner to help curb the acidic tummy.  It seems to be working.

So what has got me so incensed?

Tonight we watched the last episode of “My 600-pound Life.”  The episode we saw was about a woman named Penny.

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Saturday Six: Things I Don’t Miss

Last week I wrote a list of the things I can do now that I couldn’t do before I had WLS.  I’m pretty sure that at some point, I’d written about what my heaviest weight was–440 pounds.  So, today’s list is:

Things I Don’t Miss About Weighing 440 Pounds
(in no particular order)

  1. Being the fattest person in any room.
  2. Not being able to sit comfortably in chairs with arms.
  3. Having to buy the most unflattering of clothes because a) they fit, and b) they would keep me from being naked in public.
  4. Not being able to walk from my car in the parking lot to pretty much anywhere without stopping to catch my breath before continuing on to my destination.  This was a pretty regular occurrence, especially at school.
  5. Wearing out my clothes and shoes really quickly.
  6. I definitely don’t miss being diabetic and hypertensive.

Today we went to the mall to do some walking after we’d retrieved our Christmas tree from storage.  After we’d walked around for about 30 minutes, I stopped in at Coldwater Creek, because they were having a mad sale–50% off everything.  I picked up a couple of sweaters for work, a dress shirt for work, and a couple of t-shirts.  The best part?

All in a size 18.

Do you know that I have never worn a clothing size that starts with a 1 in my adult life?  EVER.

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