Tag Archives: the fat girl inside

Uncovering Ugly to Find Pretty

What is pretty?

Have you ever given it much thought?  I don’t want you to give me the societal expectation of pretty.

What is pretty to you?  Think about it.

I had to think about this tonight while I sat on my therapist’s couch and told the story of my interaction with the Talbots salesgirl on Saturday.  One of the things I left out of my story about my victorious trip there Saturday was this:  while we were conversing about our respective struggles with our weight and what we had each done to fight them, she said to me, “You’re so pretty.”  I thanked her and our conversation continued.

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Silently Mourning the Fat Girl and The Call

This morning I got the call:

“This is Dee from Dr. Nick’s office.  I’m calling to give you your check-in time for Monday.  You need to be at the hospital at 7:30 Monday morning…”

I heard nothing after that, even though she prattled on about the surgical instructions I’d already received from my pre-op nurse earlier this week–nothing by mouth after 10 pm Sunday night, the allowed protein shake for dinner and to be sure I take my blood pressure medication with a small sip of water Monday morning.

Monday morning at 7:30, I will be crossing the Rubicon.  There is no looking back now.  At this point, I’m all in.  Continue reading

So Hard

givingup-whykeepgoing

There have been multiple times in the past few days when I have just wanted to lay down and quit.  This has not been an easy row to hoe, that’s for sure.

I had been told by several people that the pre-op phase of this process was the most difficult, and now I know exactly what they meant.

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