Tag Archives: the fat girl inside

Uncovering Ugly to Find Pretty

What is pretty?

Have you ever given it much thought?  I don’t want you to give me the societal expectation of pretty.

What is pretty to you?  Think about it.

I had to think about this tonight while I sat on my therapist’s couch and told the story of my interaction with the Talbots salesgirl on Saturday.  One of the things I left out of my story about my victorious trip there Saturday was this:  while we were conversing about our respective struggles with our weight and what we had each done to fight them, she said to me, “You’re so pretty.”  I thanked her and our conversation continued.

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Silently Mourning the Fat Girl and The Call

This morning I got the call:

“This is Dee from Dr. Nick’s office.  I’m calling to give you your check-in time for Monday.  You need to be at the hospital at 7:30 Monday morning…”

I heard nothing after that, even though she prattled on about the surgical instructions I’d already received from my pre-op nurse earlier this week–nothing by mouth after 10 pm Sunday night, the allowed protein shake for dinner and to be sure I take my blood pressure medication with a small sip of water Monday morning.

Monday morning at 7:30, I will be crossing the Rubicon.  There is no looking back now.  At this point, I’m all in.  Continue reading

So Hard


There have been multiple times in the past few days when I have just wanted to lay down and quit.  This has not been an easy row to hoe, that’s for sure.

I had been told by several people that the pre-op phase of this process was the most difficult, and now I know exactly what they meant.

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