Tag Archives: positive self-talk

Accepting the Me that Is

Epicurus--do not spoil

A childhood friend shared this with me today.  In light of my moving toward acceptance of the body I am currently in, I thought it would be good to post it here for posterity’s sake.

I remember a time when I longed for the body I have, and how I didn’t think I’d ever get what I have now.  Now I’m here and struggling to love what is.

It is not constructive to want what I am not and what I cannot be or have because of my biology.

It’s time to stop fighting the genetic deck that is stacked against me and to accept what is.

It’s time to embrace the me that has become.  It’s time to accept the me that is.

I will love this incarnation of me.  As hard as this is, I will love this me, with all her imperfections, scratches and dents.

I will love the rolls, ripples, varicose veins, wrinkles and the stretch marks.  I will love the curves and bumps, the saggy, the baggy, the bones that jut out, and the tendons I more readily see under my skin.

I will love this version 2.0, and I will accept it as me.

If I don’t love this me, it will be hard for others to love it too.

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Post-Op Week 49 Progress Report: In Which I Struggle With What I See In The Mirror

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No change on the scale this week.  I don’t know if it’s me getting used to being at home now and not being as active (although I went to the gym 3 times this week AND did a 2-mile walk yesterday) or if this is my body trying to settle in a new weight range for a little bit.  No loss is better than a gain but it isn’t any less frustrating.  I know I need to be patient, but it’s getting harder to be patient the closer I get to both my doctor’s goal and my own goal.  And I’m not that far from either of those things.

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Post-Op Week 40 Progress Report: New Goals and A Tiny Pony

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This week’s progress was unexpectedly great.  I dropped a huge amount of weight, which I was not expecting to do given that I was retaining water all week long.  I skipped the gym this week, which happened because I wasn’t feelin’ it, and had a lot going on at work.  Instead, I did a lot of sitting on the balance ball while watching tv/working at my desk here at home.  Basically, if I was going to sit for more than 30 minutes, I made myself sit on the ball and try to stay on in an upright position.  It must have worked!  I am now only 13 pounds from my surgeon’s goal, which I am positive I can hit before school is out in June.  I am amazed that I am within striking distance of Dr. Nicholson’s expectation.  By the time my one-year follow-up appointment in July happens, I fully expect to have exceeded his expectation for my weight loss.

It should also be noted that in this picture, I am wearing smaller shorts and a smaller shirt.

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“But you’ve lost so much weight!”

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I saw this at a restaurant where I had a meeting tonight and thought, how apropos.  Even though I was in my gym clothes, having squeezed in a workout when I was not expecting to have the time to do one today, I thought to myself, “I. Look. Good.”

Everyone else seems to think so.  It’s time I started believing it too.

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In All These Things, I Give Thanks

I have much to be thankful for this year:

  • My health, which has improved greatly since June.  I am hopeful it will continue to do so.
  • My doctors and other health professionals, without whom I would not have been able to return to the healthy state I’m currently in.
  • My work, without which I am pretty sure I would not have purpose.  I am fortunate in that I love what I do, and I love where I do it.
  • My friends, without whom my life would be far less rich and a hell of a lot less fun.
  • My family, whose support of my decision to have WLS has meant so much, and without whom I would be truly lost.
  • Most of all, I am thankful for the unconditional love and support of my husband as we go through this path to better health hand in hand.

Even though I spent the better part of the day in bed feeling unwell (thanks, nature, you suck), I’ll call today a success.  Continue reading