Tag Archives: photo post

Being at 70% EWL, or, Within Striking Distance

On the eve of my 11-month post-op mark, this happened:

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On the left:  me, minus 215 pounds.  This represents what I’ve lost since I weighed my heaviest.

On the right:  me, minus 172 pounds.  This represents what I’ve lost since I began this process nearly a year ago.

I am at exactly 70% of my excess weight lost.  I’m aiming for 90%.  As I told my surgeon last May when he said that most of his patients lose around 70% EWL, “That’s not good enough for me.  I am an ‘A’ student.”

I am within 5 pounds of my surgeon’s weight goal.  I will get there before my 1-year appointment next month.

I still have 55 pounds to go to get to my goal.  I have no reason whatsoever to believe that I won’t get there.  It just won’t be in record time,  and I’m okay with this.  My objective is to be healthy above all else.

I’m aiming for March 2015.  This is not unreasonable.  With the exercise I’m doing, continued therapy and support group attendance, and staying with my current eating plan (with tweaks here and there), I fully believe I’ll get there.

It will be the second best birthday present ever.  Having my surgery was the first.

You Know You’ve Lost a Lot of Weight When…

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  • People continually tell you that you are “wasting away to nothing.”
  • You are told pretty much every day that you look great.  Especially by people who didn’t pay you much attention before.
  • Your husband has a tough time picking you out of a crowd because now you look like everyone else.
  • You have to work even harder at the gym to achieve the same burn that you got when you were 50 pounds heavier.
  • Men who are not your husband check you out.
  • Men who are not your husband open doors for you.
  • You now wear a smaller bra than you wore when you first started wearing them as a kid.
  • You complain about your clothes not fitting properly now, not because they’re too small, but because they’re too big.
  • You find that getting dressed every day is a challenge only because you now own so many cute clothes that it’s hard to pick which outfit to wear.

And finally…you know you’ve lost a lot of weight when:

  • Your own doctors don’t recognize you.  Today on the way to my support group meeting, I ran into the doctor who did my last two followup appointments, and he flat out did not recognize me.  He gushed about how great I looked and couldn’t stop saying WOW.  Before we parted ways, he asked me how much I’d lost to date, and I told him and he pumped his fist in the air.  I told him I’d see him in July at my 1-year follow up.

Hopefully by then I’ll have at least another 10 pounds off and be inching my way down to my goal.  I’m already at 70% EWL and aiming for 90%.  To get to 90%, I need to lose 50 more pounds, which puts me squarely in my desired weight range.

Summer is coming, and this will be the summer of kicking ass.

#transformationtuesday

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Left (2010) Right (2014)
Heaviest weight 210 pounds lighter
Wearing a tight pair of jorts, size 32W Wearing a well-fitting pair of khaki shorts in size 18W
Wearing a tight t-shirt, size 4x (30-32W) Wearing a loose t-shirt, 1X (14-16W)
Hypertensive diabetic Nope!
Aching lower back Nope!
Crunchy knees Nope!
Aching knees Only when it’s humid out.
Resting HR:  96 bpm Resting HR:  58 bpm
Stairs?  What are those? Stairs?  No problem!
Run?  Are you f’n kidding me? Run?  Ok, sure.  But only if I feel like it, or I’m being chased.
Average recumbent bike ride:  5 minutes Average recumbent bike ride:  45-50 minutes
Sat on lab stool to teach all day long. Stands up nearly all day to teach classes.  Sits only when tired.
Mindless eater. Mindful eater.
Physically miserable. Most days, physically good.  Some days achy, but this is because weight is shifting around.
Self-critical and self-loathing. Gentler, kinder to myself.  More forgiving.  Learning to love the me I have always been. 🙂

Image Distortion

Right now I look like this:

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So why do I still think that I look like this:

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The Little Things: Auditorium Edition

I had a faculty meeting today in our school’s Performing Arts Center. It is a 1500 seat auditorium with seats like this:

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At the beginning of the school year back in August, when we had a faculty meeting in this facility, I had to sit on the edge of the seat because I could not scoot back.  My hips were too wide to fit into the seat properly.

Today I’m pleased to note that I have 2 inches of clearance on either side of the seat.

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What Shedding Clothes Looks Like, WLS Edition

Seventeen shopping bags packed full of clothes I can no longer wear left my home today for Goodwill.  I haven’t outgrown them; they outgrew me.  Or is it more apropos to say I shrank out of them?  Either way, there was no need to keep them around.
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I hope another plus-sized woman or girl comes across them while she’s poppin’ tags and can use them.

I didn’t think they’d all fit in my Beetle.  I made them fit.  I was determined.  Because dammit, I wanted those clothes out of my house.  

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This is what the feeling of freedom looks like to me today:  shedding all these clothes as my body has shed 154 pounds and tries to settle into the body I’ve always been meant to have.

This feels AWESOME.

Loving Yourself Is Not Acceptance, Improvement Is

Columnist Gordon Keith of the Dallas Morning News wrote a wonderful piece that appeared in yesterday’s paper about self-acceptance and body image.
In his article, he discusses the increasing trend of body shaming in men, and his own personal experience growing up in the shadows of a fit and sculpted father and brother.  Because he didn’t feel he could ever achieve having bodies like theirs, he leaned on words and wit to stand out.  And if you’ve ever read his columns, heard him on the radio or seen him on television, then you know that he’s funny and insightful.

One of the things Keith says really stuck with me:

Loving yourself is not the complete acceptance of the way you are. It’s about trying to improve.

And I agree wholeheartedly.  I also agree with his closing paragraph, in which he says: Continue reading