Tag Archives: frustrated fat

Post-Op Week 109: Gallbladder Eviction

This past week, I joined millions of others in the world who walk around without a gallbladder.  Do I feel better without it?  Probably.  I wasn’t miserable before it came out, but when 4 doctors in 2 years tell you it needs to come out, it probably needs to come out.  So I had it done.

The surgery went well, thank goodness because I was really nervous about it.  It was a good thing I had it done.  Apparently, my gallbladder loved my intestines so much that it was stuck to them, which caused my surgery to be a bit longer than planned.  So removing it was a good plan, as this could have caused bigger problems later on had I delayed the procedure.

I was sent home the same afternoon.  In by 10 am, out by 4 (I take a long time to recover from anesthesia, apparently).  I was home and resting comfortably by 5, able to eat soup by 7 that night with minimal nausea.  I’ve done pretty well since, but I’ve also kept my food pretty bland and low-fat.  No major issues, just a bit of soreness at the largest incisions (not unexpected).  I stopped taking my pain meds Thursday night as I haven’t needed them since.  Besides, narcotic pain medication has some pretty undesirable side effects–itching and constipation to name a couple–so when I am placed on them, I take them for as short a time period as I can bear.  I’ve been fine without them since.   I’m on restricted lifting (nothing heavier than a jug of milk), and working out is off until next month so I won’t be back in the gym until September.  I want to make sure my abdominal muscles have healed sufficiently so that I don’t cause myself to have a hernia (Lord knows I can’t afford another frickin’ surgery–this “pray you don’t get sick health plan” is bullshit, but that’s a post for another time and place).

I did have a few revelations the day of my surgery, though.

Continue reading

Advertisements

Post-Op Week 100: 100 Days of Summer

image

My 100 days of summer started yesterday.  I donned my summer uniform (tan, shorts, polo or t-shirt, sandals of some sort) and spent most of the day outside with my husband.  Getting to spend time in the sun has done wonders for me.  I am happier than I have been in a while, and dare I say, hopeful about what this summer is going to bring.

I’ve gained weight back.  I know this.  I see it in the picture above.  I feel it in how snugly my jeans and skirts fit these days.  I feel it in how clingy my t-shirts are around my midsection.   I know this because  I’m puffy in places I haven’t been puffy in quite some time.  I’m not pleased with this, but I know what needs to happen, and I’m working on the steps I need to take to right myself.

I’ve revised my goal weight, because I think that my original goal is unreachable and unreasonable.  Without plastic surgery to remove the extra skin around my belly, I will always have a gut and the love handles to match.  This is a hard and fast fact of life.  It is something I am going to have to learn to accept, whether I want to or not.  It is also something I am going to have to learn to tone up so that it’s not quite so inner tube-y.  I have my age and aging skin working against me as well.  I will simply have to do the best I can with what I have.

I am also going to have to figure out new movement goals for myself, since my original goals will not be attainable given the health of my knees.  I will likely never be able to play tennis or softball again.  I will also likely not be able to run again.  Both of these things are heartbreaking to me, as they were all things I’d hoped to be able to do once I lost weight.  And now that my knees are in terrible shape (well not NOW, they always were; it’s just way more evident now), I have to find new movement goals to aim at.  It’s tough because I am still so set on wanting to do the things I’d originally set out to do, and now I cannot do them.  It infuriates me, and aiming for other movement goals makes me feel like I’ve settled.  And I don’t like to settle for anything.

The plan for these 100 days of summer is to spend as much time as possible in the sun, the pool and the gym.  I need to recharge my batteries, reset my behavior, and rejuvenate my soul.  I need to clear my head of all the obstacles I’ve placed in front of Me 2.0 so that she can get to her new goal.

Post-Op Week 97: Failing vs. Failure

I haven’t felt much like taking pictures of myself the past couple of weeks because I haven’t made any progress.  If anything, I have regressed.

image

With regard to my self-care, this is how I have felt the past few months. I am trying hard to plant my feet in the “I am failing” camp rather than the “I am a failure” camp.  I am failing myself right now but am trying to take small steps back toward being successful again.  I don’t see myself as a failure yet, which is good.  But I know I am failing.  And rather than pretend like everything is sunshine and rainbows along this path to health, I’m just going to say it: I’ve sucked at taking care of myself the past 6 months.  There, I said it.

I AM NOT DOING WELL RIGHT NOW.

Continue reading

Post-Op Week 96: The Light at the End of the Tunnel

…feels like an oncoming train these days.

So what do I do?  I cook, I eat, and I plod on.

Here’s a sampling of what I cooked last week (I’m a week late, I know).

image

Top:  pot roast with fresh herbs and veggies.

Left:  broccoli, ham egg and cheese frittata.

Right:  white bean, kale and sausage stew.

Just trying to keep my head above water (pretty literally these days, we’re experiencing record rains after being in drought for 5 years).  June 5 cannot get here soon enough.

Post-Op Week 95: Good Enough is Good Enough

image

When is good enough good enough?
Continue reading

Post-Op Week 94: Going to the Prom

I won’t lie, I didn’t take a picture this week in my usual outfit.  I am also up this week.  Way up.  I know what I did–grazed, and ate way more than I should have.  I’ll pick up again next week and take care of business.

Next week will be better.  It has to be.  I did decide this week to continue on with more vegetables and fruits since I like the way I feel when I eat them.  So today I had calabacitas (zucchini, corn and garlic cooked in a chicken broth with a little cheese), grapes, a mandarin orange, a green salad with strawberries and almonds, and some hummus on red leaf lettuce.  Tomorrow I’m having almost the same stuff, just adding carrot chips to the mix.

So anyway…

Saturday night, my school had its senior prom.  I’d chaperoned it before, and decided that I would do it again.  The group of seniors that I teach this year  and I are pretty close.  I adore all of them, even the difficult ones, and so I wanted to share this milestone with them.

Not gonna lie, I was stylin’.

Continue reading

Post-Op Week 89: Lessons From the Reset

image

Well, the reset got me back down to my pre-Christmas weight, which is good.  I had to relearn the things I learned during that pre-op period, which were tough.  My doctor’s plan was very strict as pre-op plans go, so I knew the week was going to be hard.

Continue reading