Category Archives: oh behave!

Emerging From A Less Than Awesome 365 Days

Hello readers,

I know it’s been a good long while since I last wrote.  In fact, the last time I wrote, I had just had my gallbladder removed and was recovering from that surgery.

Earlier this year, one of my friends who follows (followed? since I haven’t written in so long) this blog asked me if I would be writing in it again.  I danced around the topic, saying that life had gotten in the way and that I simply hadn’t had time to do it, which was partially true.

But really what stopped me from writing was this:

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Post-Op Week 109: Gallbladder Eviction

This past week, I joined millions of others in the world who walk around without a gallbladder.  Do I feel better without it?  Probably.  I wasn’t miserable before it came out, but when 4 doctors in 2 years tell you it needs to come out, it probably needs to come out.  So I had it done.

The surgery went well, thank goodness because I was really nervous about it.  It was a good thing I had it done.  Apparently, my gallbladder loved my intestines so much that it was stuck to them, which caused my surgery to be a bit longer than planned.  So removing it was a good plan, as this could have caused bigger problems later on had I delayed the procedure.

I was sent home the same afternoon.  In by 10 am, out by 4 (I take a long time to recover from anesthesia, apparently).  I was home and resting comfortably by 5, able to eat soup by 7 that night with minimal nausea.  I’ve done pretty well since, but I’ve also kept my food pretty bland and low-fat.  No major issues, just a bit of soreness at the largest incisions (not unexpected).  I stopped taking my pain meds Thursday night as I haven’t needed them since.  Besides, narcotic pain medication has some pretty undesirable side effects–itching and constipation to name a couple–so when I am placed on them, I take them for as short a time period as I can bear.  I’ve been fine without them since.   I’m on restricted lifting (nothing heavier than a jug of milk), and working out is off until next month so I won’t be back in the gym until September.  I want to make sure my abdominal muscles have healed sufficiently so that I don’t cause myself to have a hernia (Lord knows I can’t afford another frickin’ surgery–this “pray you don’t get sick health plan” is bullshit, but that’s a post for another time and place).

I did have a few revelations the day of my surgery, though.

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Post-Op Week 102: Acceptance and Moving Forward

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It’s been a couple of weeks since I updated anything regarding post-op life, so here is one.

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Post-Op Week 100: 100 Days of Summer

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My 100 days of summer started yesterday.  I donned my summer uniform (tan, shorts, polo or t-shirt, sandals of some sort) and spent most of the day outside with my husband.  Getting to spend time in the sun has done wonders for me.  I am happier than I have been in a while, and dare I say, hopeful about what this summer is going to bring.

I’ve gained weight back.  I know this.  I see it in the picture above.  I feel it in how snugly my jeans and skirts fit these days.  I feel it in how clingy my t-shirts are around my midsection.   I know this because  I’m puffy in places I haven’t been puffy in quite some time.  I’m not pleased with this, but I know what needs to happen, and I’m working on the steps I need to take to right myself.

I’ve revised my goal weight, because I think that my original goal is unreachable and unreasonable.  Without plastic surgery to remove the extra skin around my belly, I will always have a gut and the love handles to match.  This is a hard and fast fact of life.  It is something I am going to have to learn to accept, whether I want to or not.  It is also something I am going to have to learn to tone up so that it’s not quite so inner tube-y.  I have my age and aging skin working against me as well.  I will simply have to do the best I can with what I have.

I am also going to have to figure out new movement goals for myself, since my original goals will not be attainable given the health of my knees.  I will likely never be able to play tennis or softball again.  I will also likely not be able to run again.  Both of these things are heartbreaking to me, as they were all things I’d hoped to be able to do once I lost weight.  And now that my knees are in terrible shape (well not NOW, they always were; it’s just way more evident now), I have to find new movement goals to aim at.  It’s tough because I am still so set on wanting to do the things I’d originally set out to do, and now I cannot do them.  It infuriates me, and aiming for other movement goals makes me feel like I’ve settled.  And I don’t like to settle for anything.

The plan for these 100 days of summer is to spend as much time as possible in the sun, the pool and the gym.  I need to recharge my batteries, reset my behavior, and rejuvenate my soul.  I need to clear my head of all the obstacles I’ve placed in front of Me 2.0 so that she can get to her new goal.

Post-Op Week 93: It Messes With Your Mind

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Slow and steady wins the race, right?   This week I went veggie heavy and it seems to have paid off.  So I’ll be doing that again this week too.  I really like how I feel when I eat veggies, so this will be something that I continue to do.

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Post-Op Week 92: Craving Veggies

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Plodding along this week.  I ate more veggies this week, and liked how I felt afterward so I decided to go veggie heavy this week.  I think the extra fiber will also be good for me–hell, I know it will be.  I’m learning to listen more to what my body feels like having, and this week it really wanted more veggies.

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Post-Op Week 91: What I Deserve

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Funerals are a hell of a way to start a week.  Mourning + ovulation + work stress + general IDGAFery = up this week.  Thankfully, this week does not look to be terribly stressful, especially as side projects wind down and I can finally get back to the business of taking care of myself the way I deserve to.

This just keeping my head above water business isn’t cutting it, and I’m tired of just getting by.  That’s what it feels like I’ve done this year so far.  I deserve so much more than just getting by.  I don’t “just get by” in other areas of my life, so why when it comes to me is it acceptable?

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