Category Archives: little things

My Body, My House

Posted on January 26, 2015 | Leave a comment

“Your body is the house you grew up in, how dare you try to burn it to the ground.” #effyourbeautystandards pic.twitter.com/Jg08HVnkwg

— Felisha (@felishacarolle) January 18, 2015

I did some maintenance on my house tonight. Went back to the gym and rode the bike on a hills program for 45 minutes and then (likely to the chagrin of my ortho guy) did light leg weights and some upper body. It felt good.

I think from now on, I will try to remember that my body is the house I grew up in. I need to take better care of it since it’s the house I’m going to live in the rest of my life.

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Posted in exercise, head trips, la guerra, little things, oh behave!, post-op, reflections, self-image, the little things, vsg

Tagged exercise, fighting the fat girl, I work out, la guerra, love thyself, post-op life, reflections, self-image, she's got skillz, shit is hard, sleeve gastrectomy, VSG, vsg realness, werk!, work that head game, workin' on my fitness

You Know You’ve Lost a Lot of Weight When…

Posted on May 29, 2014 | 3 comments

People continually tell you that you are “wasting away to nothing.”
You are told pretty much every day that you look great. Especially by people who didn’t pay you much attention before.
Your husband has a tough time picking you out of a crowd because now you look like everyone else.
You have to work even harder at the gym to achieve the same burn that you got when you were 50 pounds heavier.
Men who are not your husband check you out.
Men who are not your husband open doors for you.
You now wear a smaller bra than you wore when you first started wearing them as a kid.
You complain about your clothes not fitting properly now, not because they’re too small, but because they’re too big.
You find that getting dressed every day is a challenge only because you now own so many cute clothes that it’s hard to pick which outfit to wear.

And finally…you know you’ve lost a lot of weight when:

Your own doctors don’t recognize you. Today on the way to my support group meeting, I ran into the doctor who did my last two followup appointments, and he flat out did not recognize me. He gushed about how great I looked and couldn’t stop saying WOW. Before we parted ways, he asked me how much I’d lost to date, and I told him and he pumped his fist in the air. I told him I’d see him in July at my 1-year follow up.

Hopefully by then I’ll have at least another 10 pounds off and be inching my way down to my goal. I’m already at 70% EWL and aiming for 90%. To get to 90%, I need to lose 50 more pounds, which puts me squarely in my desired weight range.

Summer is coming, and this will be the summer of kicking ass.

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Posted in celebrations, head trips, la guerra, little things, NSV's, post-op, reflections, success, the little things, the sleeve, vsg, weight loss surgery, werk!, what's up doc?

Tagged 70% EWL, benefits of wls, EWL, head trip, la guerra, little celebrations, NSV's, photo post, post-op life, reactions to WLS, reflections, she's got skillz, shit is hard, sleeve gastrectomy, sorry for sleeve rocking, success, the little things, the sleeve, things of win and awesome, VSG, vsg realness, werk!, what's up doc?, WLS, work that head game

Observations From the Gym and Protein Sources

Posted on May 12, 2014 | Leave a comment

A few observations while I got my fitness on tonight:

1. Donald Sterling needs to STFU. Don’t go talking shit about Magic Johnson and turn around in the next breath and say “I don’t talk about people, I talk about ideas.”

Yeah, like ones that should have died when slavery was abolished 150 years ago.

2. How in the hell do people text while they use the elliptical machine? Either they are far more skilled than I am at texting or I am working harder than they are because I am lucky if I can start the MapMyFitness app while I’m trying not to fall off the damn thing.

3. You never know who is watching your progress. One of the trainers pulled me aside and asked me how much weight my husband and I had lost. She told me she noticed that both of us are significantly smaller since we started working out and that every time we come in, she noticed that we are smaller each week. We introduced ourselves, and I told her that one day I’d be brave enough to try one of her Zumba classes. She invited me to come to her low impact class. I think I might give it a try.

I promised earlier that I’d make a list of the proteins I eat, in order of how well they “stick” with me–in other words, which ones provide me the most satiety for the quantity eaten. There are some proteins that I can eat small quantities of and feel satisfied, and then there are others that it feels like I could eat endlessly and never feel satisfied.

So here’s the list.

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Posted in exercise, habits, la guerra, little things, oh behave!, post-op, the sleeve, vsg, weight loss surgery, werk!

Tagged dense protein, eating, exercise, food, la guerra, post-op eating, post-op life, protein, reflections, she's got skillz, sleeve gastrectomy, slider proteins, the body is a funny thing, the sleeve, VSG, vsg realness, werk!, WLS, workin' on my fitness

Flashback Friday

Posted on May 2, 2014 | 2 comments

The year was 2006. I went to my first AP Reading at the University of Nebraska as a rookie reader. This was also the last year we read in Lincoln. I wanted a shirt as a souvenir and memento of my experience there so I bought this at the bookstore on campus. It was the biggest shirt they had–a 3X. It was tight and uncomfortable, and after I bought it I didn’t wear it for a long, long time.

Until recently.

Now it fits like a dress and I use it as a workout shirt because it’s too big to wear otherwise. When I go back to the AP Reading this year, you bet your ass I’ll be taking this shirt with me to work out in.

I am now down to an 18 in pants and a 14-18 in tops, depending on who makes them and whether or not they are button down or knit. I won’t lie, I still see a 440 pound woman, still feel like one most days, and still negotiate space like one. When will I get past this? I know Dr. A said that the brain takes so long to catch up to the body, but it’s nearly been a year and I’m still lagging behind mentally on my self-image.

I mixed up my cardio tonight: 15 minutes riding intervals on the recumbent bike, followed by 15 minutes on the elliptical, then 10 minutes on the dreadmill to cool down. I had never tried the elliptical before and thought I’d give it a try to give myself a change of pace. I dig it. I’ll be using it again, perhaps tomorrow evening. I need to drag my ass to the gym more and thankfully that things are starting to slow down at school, perhaps I can do that.

More later…prepping for teaching a workshop tomorrow and I need to finalize some last minute things.

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Posted in being thankful, celebrations, exercise, la guerra, little things, NSV's, post-op, reflections, success, the sleeve, vsg, weight loss surgery, werk!

Tagged benefits of wls, exercise, I work out, la guerra, little celebrations, NSV's, post-op life, reflections, self-image, she's got skillz, sleeve gastrectomy, sorry for sleeve rocking, success, the incredible shrinking Mexican!, the little things, the sleeve, things of win and awesome, VSG, vsg realness, werk!, workin' on my fitness

Post-Op Week 42 Progress Report

Posted on April 27, 2014 | 2 comments

This week’s progress: back on track. I’m pleased with the loss of almost 2 pounds this week, given the fact that I fought hunger all week long. Some of it was head hunger, some was stress-related, and some was just genuine hunger. I am starting to wonder if I should eat more calories, but am hesitant to try going too far above 1000 daily. I think I’m going to stick with what I’ve been doing for a couple more weeks and then reevaluate what I need then. I’m getting better at listening to my body and figuring out what it needs.

Today’s weigh in also sees me crossing from “morbidly obese” to just “obese” per the BMI chart. I know a lot of people don’t put a lot of stock in that thing, but when your doctor bases his goal weight for you on it, you pay attention to it. Since my doctor’s goal weight places me squarely in the obese category, I revised my personal goal to place me at the upper end of overweight. I know I will never have a “normal” BMI, and I’m okay with that. Besides, if I did, I would look sick and not healthy. I am aiming for looking healthy and feeling good about how I look. I’m nearly there. 62.6 more pounds to go.

I can do this.

This week, I’m focusing on starting to get ready for my next 5k in July and just staying the course. Trying not to let the stress of recent events (gallbladder ultrasound, stepmother’s passing, end of the school year, WORK) take its toll on my efforts, but these next few weeks, that’s going to be tough. Just gotta remember not to eat the feels.

I’ll write more later…right now, it’s bedtime.

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Posted in challenges, expectations, goals, la guerra, little things, NSV's, oh behave!, post-op, progreso, reflections, vsg, weight loss surgery, werk!

Tagged benefits of wls, BMI, exercise, goals, hunger, I work out, la guerra, milestones, NSV's, oh behave!, omg I eat carbs!, post-op life, progreso, progress report, reflections, runner wannabe, she's got skillz, shit is hard, sleeve gastrectomy, sorry for sleeve rocking, the sleeve, things of win and awesome, VSG, vsg realness, workin' on my fitness

Post-Op Week 40 Progress Report: New Goals and A Tiny Pony

Posted on April 13, 2014 | 1 comment

This week’s progress was unexpectedly great. I dropped a huge amount of weight, which I was not expecting to do given that I was retaining water all week long. I skipped the gym this week, which happened because I wasn’t feelin’ it, and had a lot going on at work. Instead, I did a lot of sitting on the balance ball while watching tv/working at my desk here at home. Basically, if I was going to sit for more than 30 minutes, I made myself sit on the ball and try to stay on in an upright position. It must have worked! I am now only 13 pounds from my surgeon’s goal, which I am positive I can hit before school is out in June. I am amazed that I am within striking distance of Dr. Nicholson’s expectation. By the time my one-year follow-up appointment in July happens, I fully expect to have exceeded his expectation for my weight loss.

It should also be noted that in this picture, I am wearing smaller shorts and a smaller shirt.

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Posted in celebrations, choices, exercise, expectations, fellow WLS bloggers, goals, la guerra, little things, NSV's, post-op, progreso, reflections, self-image, success, support, the body is a funny thing, the little things, the sleeve, vsg, weight loss surgery, werk!

Tagged accountability, being authentic, being average, being real, benefits of wls, boot camp, exceeding expectations, exercise, fashion, fellow WLS bloggers, fitness goals, goals, I am a smoove mofo, la guerra, little celebrations, my tiny tank, NSV's, positive self-talk, reflections, self-image, she's got skillz, sleeve gastrectomy, sorry for sleeve rocking, the body is a funny thing, the little things, the sleeve, things of win and awesome, Tracy Stevenson, VSG, vsg realness, werk!, what's up doc?, WLS

The Little Things: Auditorium Edition

Posted on March 26, 2014 | Leave a comment

I had a faculty meeting today in our school’s Performing Arts Center. It is a 1500 seat auditorium with seats like this:

At the beginning of the school year back in August, when we had a faculty meeting in this facility, I had to sit on the edge of the seat because I could not scoot back. My hips were too wide to fit into the seat properly.

Today I’m pleased to note that I have 2 inches of clearance on either side of the seat.

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Posted in celebrations, daily bites, eating, la guerra, little things, NSV's, post-op, success, the sleeve, vsg, weight loss surgery, werk!

Tagged benefits of wls, daily bites, eating, la guerra, little celebrations, NSV's, photo post, post-op eating, post-op life, sorry for sleeve rocking, success, the incredible shrinking Mexican!, things of win and awesome, VSG, vsg realness, werk!

The Kindest Cut

Posted on March 18, 2014 | Leave a comment

is one that makes you look good.

Better still, it’s one that’s easy to replicate once you’re on your own and don’t have your hairdresser to do it for you.

And best of all, it’s one that flatters you.

After a little over 8 months, I finally cut my hair today. I’d been terrified of getting it cut since I’d lost so much of it post-op. I wasn’t sure when the hair loss would stop, but at my 6-month follow-up, I was assured by my doctor that the hair loss would slow down around 9 months post-op.

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Posted in la guerra, little things, oh behave!, post-op, reflections, self-image, success, the sleeve, vsg, weight loss surgery

Tagged challenges, choices, daily bites, eating, fighting the fat girl, hair loss, I am NOT perfect, la guerra, mindless eating, NSV's, oh behave!, omg I eat carbs!, post-op eating, post-op life, reflections, self-image, shit is hard, sleeve gastrectomy, slider foods, trigger foods, VSG, vsg realness, work that head game

Loving Yourself Is Not Acceptance, Improvement Is

Posted on March 14, 2014 | Leave a comment

Columnist Gordon Keith of the Dallas Morning News wrote a wonderful piece that appeared in yesterday’s paper about self-acceptance and body image.
In his article, he discusses the increasing trend of body shaming in men, and his own personal experience growing up in the shadows of a fit and sculpted father and brother. Because he didn’t feel he could ever achieve having bodies like theirs, he leaned on words and wit to stand out. And if you’ve ever read his columns, heard him on the radio or seen him on television, then you know that he’s funny and insightful.

One of the things Keith says really stuck with me: