Category Archives: choices

Emerging From A Less Than Awesome 365 Days

Hello readers,

I know it’s been a good long while since I last wrote.  In fact, the last time I wrote, I had just had my gallbladder removed and was recovering from that surgery.

Earlier this year, one of my friends who follows (followed? since I haven’t written in so long) this blog asked me if I would be writing in it again.  I danced around the topic, saying that life had gotten in the way and that I simply hadn’t had time to do it, which was partially true.

But really what stopped me from writing was this:

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Post-Op Week 102: Acceptance and Moving Forward

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It’s been a couple of weeks since I updated anything regarding post-op life, so here is one.

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Post-Op Week 100: 100 Days of Summer

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My 100 days of summer started yesterday.  I donned my summer uniform (tan, shorts, polo or t-shirt, sandals of some sort) and spent most of the day outside with my husband.  Getting to spend time in the sun has done wonders for me.  I am happier than I have been in a while, and dare I say, hopeful about what this summer is going to bring.

I’ve gained weight back.  I know this.  I see it in the picture above.  I feel it in how snugly my jeans and skirts fit these days.  I feel it in how clingy my t-shirts are around my midsection.   I know this because  I’m puffy in places I haven’t been puffy in quite some time.  I’m not pleased with this, but I know what needs to happen, and I’m working on the steps I need to take to right myself.

I’ve revised my goal weight, because I think that my original goal is unreachable and unreasonable.  Without plastic surgery to remove the extra skin around my belly, I will always have a gut and the love handles to match.  This is a hard and fast fact of life.  It is something I am going to have to learn to accept, whether I want to or not.  It is also something I am going to have to learn to tone up so that it’s not quite so inner tube-y.  I have my age and aging skin working against me as well.  I will simply have to do the best I can with what I have.

I am also going to have to figure out new movement goals for myself, since my original goals will not be attainable given the health of my knees.  I will likely never be able to play tennis or softball again.  I will also likely not be able to run again.  Both of these things are heartbreaking to me, as they were all things I’d hoped to be able to do once I lost weight.  And now that my knees are in terrible shape (well not NOW, they always were; it’s just way more evident now), I have to find new movement goals to aim at.  It’s tough because I am still so set on wanting to do the things I’d originally set out to do, and now I cannot do them.  It infuriates me, and aiming for other movement goals makes me feel like I’ve settled.  And I don’t like to settle for anything.

The plan for these 100 days of summer is to spend as much time as possible in the sun, the pool and the gym.  I need to recharge my batteries, reset my behavior, and rejuvenate my soul.  I need to clear my head of all the obstacles I’ve placed in front of Me 2.0 so that she can get to her new goal.

Post-Op Week 96: The Light at the End of the Tunnel

…feels like an oncoming train these days.

So what do I do?  I cook, I eat, and I plod on.

Here’s a sampling of what I cooked last week (I’m a week late, I know).

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Top:  pot roast with fresh herbs and veggies.

Left:  broccoli, ham egg and cheese frittata.

Right:  white bean, kale and sausage stew.

Just trying to keep my head above water (pretty literally these days, we’re experiencing record rains after being in drought for 5 years).  June 5 cannot get here soon enough.

Post-Op Week 95: Good Enough is Good Enough

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When is good enough good enough?
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Post-Op Week 93: It Messes With Your Mind

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Slow and steady wins the race, right?   This week I went veggie heavy and it seems to have paid off.  So I’ll be doing that again this week too.  I really like how I feel when I eat veggies, so this will be something that I continue to do.

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Post-Op Week 92: Craving Veggies

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Plodding along this week.  I ate more veggies this week, and liked how I felt afterward so I decided to go veggie heavy this week.  I think the extra fiber will also be good for me–hell, I know it will be.  I’m learning to listen more to what my body feels like having, and this week it really wanted more veggies.

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