My 100 days of summer started yesterday. I donned my summer uniform (tan, shorts, polo or t-shirt, sandals of some sort) and spent most of the day outside with my husband. Getting to spend time in the sun has done wonders for me. I am happier than I have been in a while, and dare I say, hopeful about what this summer is going to bring.
I’ve gained weight back. I know this. I see it in the picture above. I feel it in how snugly my jeans and skirts fit these days. I feel it in how clingy my t-shirts are around my midsection. I know this because I’m puffy in places I haven’t been puffy in quite some time. I’m not pleased with this, but I know what needs to happen, and I’m working on the steps I need to take to right myself.
I’ve revised my goal weight, because I think that my original goal is unreachable and unreasonable. Without plastic surgery to remove the extra skin around my belly, I will always have a gut and the love handles to match. This is a hard and fast fact of life. It is something I am going to have to learn to accept, whether I want to or not. It is also something I am going to have to learn to tone up so that it’s not quite so inner tube-y. I have my age and aging skin working against me as well. I will simply have to do the best I can with what I have.
I am also going to have to figure out new movement goals for myself, since my original goals will not be attainable given the health of my knees. I will likely never be able to play tennis or softball again. I will also likely not be able to run again. Both of these things are heartbreaking to me, as they were all things I’d hoped to be able to do once I lost weight. And now that my knees are in terrible shape (well not NOW, they always were; it’s just way more evident now), I have to find new movement goals to aim at. It’s tough because I am still so set on wanting to do the things I’d originally set out to do, and now I cannot do them. It infuriates me, and aiming for other movement goals makes me feel like I’ve settled. And I don’t like to settle for anything.
The plan for these 100 days of summer is to spend as much time as possible in the sun, the pool and the gym. I need to recharge my batteries, reset my behavior, and rejuvenate my soul. I need to clear my head of all the obstacles I’ve placed in front of Me 2.0 so that she can get to her new goal.