Post-Op Week 100: 100 Days of Summer

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My 100 days of summer started yesterday.  I donned my summer uniform (tan, shorts, polo or t-shirt, sandals of some sort) and spent most of the day outside with my husband.  Getting to spend time in the sun has done wonders for me.  I am happier than I have been in a while, and dare I say, hopeful about what this summer is going to bring.

I’ve gained weight back.  I know this.  I see it in the picture above.  I feel it in how snugly my jeans and skirts fit these days.  I feel it in how clingy my t-shirts are around my midsection.   I know this because  I’m puffy in places I haven’t been puffy in quite some time.  I’m not pleased with this, but I know what needs to happen, and I’m working on the steps I need to take to right myself.

I’ve revised my goal weight, because I think that my original goal is unreachable and unreasonable.  Without plastic surgery to remove the extra skin around my belly, I will always have a gut and the love handles to match.  This is a hard and fast fact of life.  It is something I am going to have to learn to accept, whether I want to or not.  It is also something I am going to have to learn to tone up so that it’s not quite so inner tube-y.  I have my age and aging skin working against me as well.  I will simply have to do the best I can with what I have.

I am also going to have to figure out new movement goals for myself, since my original goals will not be attainable given the health of my knees.  I will likely never be able to play tennis or softball again.  I will also likely not be able to run again.  Both of these things are heartbreaking to me, as they were all things I’d hoped to be able to do once I lost weight.  And now that my knees are in terrible shape (well not NOW, they always were; it’s just way more evident now), I have to find new movement goals to aim at.  It’s tough because I am still so set on wanting to do the things I’d originally set out to do, and now I cannot do them.  It infuriates me, and aiming for other movement goals makes me feel like I’ve settled.  And I don’t like to settle for anything.

The plan for these 100 days of summer is to spend as much time as possible in the sun, the pool and the gym.  I need to recharge my batteries, reset my behavior, and rejuvenate my soul.  I need to clear my head of all the obstacles I’ve placed in front of Me 2.0 so that she can get to her new goal.

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2 responses to “Post-Op Week 100: 100 Days of Summer

  1. Enjoy your summer – we all need to regroup at times in order to move forward. Hugs!

  2. Gaining weight back sucks! I am there with you. I haven’t been able to exercise much since being injured in January and it isn’t good. I can eat great most of the time, but manage to gain 5 lbs every once in a while that doesn’t come off. So now I’m 20 lbs up! I have been working at seeing what causes me to crave more food at night and it’s definitely eating carbs in the a.m., so going back to basics and going to count carbs again (I tend to count only calories and protein). I’m doing it less to stick to a # but more to realize which foods are not doing well for me!

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