The year was 2006. I went to my first AP Reading at the University of Nebraska as a rookie reader. This was also the last year we read in Lincoln. I wanted a shirt as a souvenir and memento of my experience there so I bought this at the bookstore on campus. It was the biggest shirt they had–a 3X. It was tight and uncomfortable, and after I bought it I didn’t wear it for a long, long time.
Until recently.
Now it fits like a dress and I use it as a workout shirt because it’s too big to wear otherwise. When I go back to the AP Reading this year, you bet your ass I’ll be taking this shirt with me to work out in.
I am now down to an 18 in pants and a 14-18 in tops, depending on who makes them and whether or not they are button down or knit. I won’t lie, I still see a 440 pound woman, still feel like one most days, and still negotiate space like one. When will I get past this? I know Dr. A said that the brain takes so long to catch up to the body, but it’s nearly been a year and I’m still lagging behind mentally on my self-image.
I mixed up my cardio tonight: 15 minutes riding intervals on the recumbent bike, followed by 15 minutes on the elliptical, then 10 minutes on the dreadmill to cool down. I had never tried the elliptical before and thought I’d give it a try to give myself a change of pace. I dig it. I’ll be using it again, perhaps tomorrow evening. I need to drag my ass to the gym more and thankfully that things are starting to slow down at school, perhaps I can do that.
More later…prepping for teaching a workshop tomorrow and I need to finalize some last minute things.