I haven’t been very good about writing here every day. Things in my world have been harried lately, and I’m not feeling good about it. This week’s progress isn’t progress at all–it’s a big step back.
Stepping on the scale this morning, I wasn’t surprised to see that I was up. I was surprised by just how much the scale tipped upwards though: 5 pounds.
For the last few days, I have felt like eating every thing I have seen. If it wasn’t nailed down, I probably ate it. This happens every month, around the time that I’m ovulating. Any other time, my hunger is kept in check. But this time of the month, not so much.
I’m also retaining water like the Titanic. To wit:
I’m drinking water like it’s my job, but it isn’t helping the edema I’m having. Thankfully, this will go away. How quickly it will go is yet to be seen.
This past week, I ate more starchy carbs than I have been–beans, potatoes and a little rice. I’m also wondering if that might have contributed to the gain I had. I’m going to try and trim that back this week to see if it helps. Traveling out of town this past weekend didn’t help.
I just worry that after a great month on the scale, March is going to look like January, in which I only lost 3 pounds. I’m trying not to freak out about this week’s gain, but it’s hard not to. I have all these thoughts running through my head
What if I’m confined to eating just 1,000 calories per day for the rest of my life?
What if I never get out of this weight range?
What if, to lose the rest of this weight, I have to go on liquids for an extended period of time?
What if this is it, and I never get to my goal?
It’s so hard to keep going, but I have to.
This week’s challenge: birthday tomorrow. I’m going to try and conserve my calories during the day so I can enjoy my birthday dinner out. After that, I need to hit a reset button or something, because I need to get a handle on this before it gets worse.