This week has been one of the biggest tests of my young life so far. Both my mother in law and my father’s wife have been hospitalized this week.
Needless to say, stress levels around here have been through the roof. It has been tough to get any thoughts together to write anything substantive because I’m operating in survival mode this week.
But now that I have a banana-sized tummy, survival mode looks very different for me.
Pre-op, survival mode meant self-medicating with comfort foods: chips, salsa, enchiladas, mashed potatoes in gravy, rolls, pasta covered in cheesy sauces, fried chicken, tacos, queso…the list goes on and on. Survival mode meant indulging in a pint of Ben and Jerry’s New York Super Fudge Chunk and not being the least bit sorry about eating the whole thing.
Now, survival mode means trying to stay as close to my calorie goal each day, keeping active during the day, and keeping a full glass of water close by. There is no room physically for a pint of ice cream, and there is no room mathematically for the calories the ice cream has if I am to meet my daily nutrition goals. Self-medication with food is simply not an option. And in the end, I wouldn’t feel better about it anyway. I’d just end up feeling worse, having intense feelings of self-loathing, and the thing causing the stress wouldn’t be lessened–more stress would result. So why bother self-soothing with food?
So I’m pushing through this week and hoping I make it out on the other side with my sanity intact and hopefully down a pound or two. I think I’ve done a pretty good job of managing my stress this week, and hope that I’m rewarded Sunday for my behaviors.
Today’s eating was good: 97 grams protein, 44 grams carbs, 34 grams fat. I’ve been eating lots of leftovers, and have been eating leaner meats this week in an attempt to keep my calories at or under 900 daily. So far, I’ve done a good job.