I have big dreams. I’ve always had them.
I’m finally starting to feel like I might actually achieve some of the things I see myself doing in my dreams.
In reality, I have actually achieved some of the things I’ve visualized myself doing.
I’ve run. And I can’t wait to get to do it again.
I’ve visualized myself fitting into clothes whose size begins with a 1 and not a 2. I’m slowly getting there.
I just wish I could visualize myself with more free time. 🙂 Then perhaps I could achieve more of what I see myself doing, and perhaps I could have more time for visualizing myself doing things I once thought impossible because of my weight.
Something has to give, and soon. The question is what? I want so much to be able to build in more physical activity, but with my schedule, it’s damn near impossible. I need to just suck it up and build a routine. Packing more stuff to do into an already packed life may not be the best solution, but it is the only thing I know how to do. I don’t know how to be not busy–I never have.
But the larger problem here is that I need to learn how, lest I get myself into a situation that forces me to be not busy for an extended period of time and I drive myself nuts not knowing how to spend all the free time that comes with such a situation.
I’m playing catch up on logging my meals as this week at work has been beyond busy. I had a 14 hour day today: got to school at 7:45 and didn’t leave until nearly 9:30 pm. So here’s what I’ve eaten the past two days.
Today my protein level was good: 86 grams. The timing of my meals could have been better though: I went from lunch to nearly 9:45 pm without eating–not a good thing. But I was so busy that I almost didn’t notice. That is a very odd feeling, not feeling any actual hunger when you know it should be time to eat.
Yesterday’s nutrition was also pretty good: 87 grams of protein. It was a meat-heavy day.
I ate the pork, a little bit of the peas and carrots and maybe two bites of the potatoes. There just wasn’t room. I am pretty good about making sure I get protein down first before biting into any vegetables or starches because the mantra I tell myself when I sit down to eat is “protein first!”
There is so much I want to write about–how I feel about single-minded approaches to weight loss with the sleeve and body image after rapid weight loss among them–but I can’t sit still long enough to organize my thoughts. Perhaps I’ll ruminate on these things over the next week and write next weekend.
After the Gobble Hobble 1-miler and my anniversary dinner. Even on vacation, I’m busy.