Daily Bite, a Good Nutrition Day and HUNGER

The past couple of days I have been a beast when it comes to protein:  yesterday I got in 98 grams of protein; today I got in 102 grams.

But I have been So. Freaking. HUNGRY.  And I don’t get it.  I really don’t.

This is NOT head hunger.  This is not “I’m bored, OMGIWANNASTUFFMYFACE” hunger.  This is true, legit, physical hunger.  The kind that makes your stomach hurt.

I take 20 mg of Pepcid (a PPI) twice daily, drink nearly a gallon of water each day, and spread my eating throughout the day.  I try to get between 15-20 grams of protein per actual meal, and 10-15 per snack.  I am eating between 800-1000 calories daily, trying to stick closer to 800 than 1000, but the past couple of days have been challenging.  I am currently walking 7500 steps daily (a little over 3 miles).

I don’t understand why I am still SO hungry.  I thought I was doing everything right so far.

I had chalked up my hunger to hormones presently coursing through my veins because I’m on the back side of my menstrual cycle.  My period is due to start sometime next week.  I don’t remember being this ravenous last month when I had my period.  But of course that was nearly 5 weeks ago and I was earlier out from surgery then.

I am disappointed and scared, because I thought that surgery was supposed to take care of the physical hunger.  I kid you not when I say that my hunger now is as intense as it was pre-op.  I am afraid of this because I am afraid I will eat too much and derail whatever progress I have made so far.  I am afraid I will make myself sick.  I am still measuring and weighing my food–this is a behavior that I do not anticipate stopping unless I am somewhere I cannot weigh or measure (like a restaurant).  I am still trying so hard to undereat the capacity of my sleeve (which is 4 ounces now)–when I eat dense proteins, I eat 3-3.75 ounces.  If I eat veggies, it’s usually 1 ounce or less.

But the hunger gnaws at me, and I don’t like it.  It is so hard to focus your mind elsewhere when your stomach is churning and empty and demanding to be filled with something, anything that will shut it up.  I’m scared because I’m afraid of making poor eating choices.  When my stomach starts a-churning, I try to down some water or tea just to have something to fill it up with, but in the back of my head I know that solution is a fail because of how the pylorus works.  I also know that our sleeved stomachs empty a little sooner than regular stomachs, and knowing this does not help me. One. Bit.

I am considering calling up my doctor’s office and asking about perhaps being put on a higher dose of Pepcid to see if that helps.  There has got to be something that can be done about this that doesn’t involve stuffing my mouth with something to eat.  I don’t want to eat the hunger away, especially once I’ve met my protein and calorie goals for the day.  I’m trying so hard not to do it, and I’m afraid that one day I am just going to say “fuck it” and eat when I don’t mean to.

Ugh…enough of that.  Here’s some food to look at.  A note:  you don’t see my calcium supplement anymore because I’m taking a different one (generic Caltrate petites) and I haven’t photographed it yet.  Perhaps a project for the weekend.

Today’s food choices:

Today’s choices, from upper right: mini lasagna; grilled salmon; Trader Joe’s turkey jerky; multivitamin x2; cheesy barbecue turkey meatloaf with steamed broccoli (not shown).

Wednesday’s food choices:

Yesterday’s food choices, from upper left: grilled shrimp and green beans (I ate all the shrimp and 4 tiny bites of green beans); multivitamin x2; Trader Joe’s dark chocolate caramel wedges (one serving); cheesy barbecue turkey meatloaf minis with steamed broccoli (not shown); Sargento reduced fat cheese stick; Boar’s Head Maple turkey slices.

I had a pretty ideal nutrition day yesterday:

Today was similar, but a little more carby:

I’m slowly learning the value of dense proteins as opposed to cheese as a snack, but don’t always think to pack them as snacks.  A cheese stick is easy to grab; a serving of lunchmeat is not.  It does require more planning and thought, so perhaps I just need to buck up and start portioning out my lunchmeats in snack-sized portions so that I can grab them from my storeroom fridge while I’m at school.  In fact, I think I’ll go do that now since tomorrow, my students are doing a lab involving Goldfish crackers and I really don’t want to be tempted by them so I want to make sure I have a protein packed snack at the ready while they munch on Goldfish.

So many things to think about this weekend when meal planning.