Post-Op Week 97: Failing vs. Failure

I haven’t felt much like taking pictures of myself the past couple of weeks because I haven’t made any progress.  If anything, I have regressed.

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With regard to my self-care, this is how I have felt the past few months. I am trying hard to plant my feet in the “I am failing” camp rather than the “I am a failure” camp.  I am failing myself right now but am trying to take small steps back toward being successful again.  I don’t see myself as a failure yet, which is good.  But I know I am failing.  And rather than pretend like everything is sunshine and rainbows along this path to health, I’m just going to say it: I’ve sucked at taking care of myself the past 6 months.  There, I said it.

I AM NOT DOING WELL RIGHT NOW.

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Post-Op Week 96: The Light at the End of the Tunnel

…feels like an oncoming train these days.

So what do I do?  I cook, I eat, and I plod on.

Here’s a sampling of what I cooked last week (I’m a week late, I know).

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Top:  pot roast with fresh herbs and veggies.

Left:  broccoli, ham egg and cheese frittata.

Right:  white bean, kale and sausage stew.

Just trying to keep my head above water (pretty literally these days, we’re experiencing record rains after being in drought for 5 years).  June 5 cannot get here soon enough.

Post-Op Week 95: Good Enough is Good Enough

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When is good enough good enough?
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Post-Op Week 94: Going to the Prom

I won’t lie, I didn’t take a picture this week in my usual outfit.  I am also up this week.  Way up.  I know what I did–grazed, and ate way more than I should have.  I’ll pick up again next week and take care of business.

Next week will be better.  It has to be.  I did decide this week to continue on with more vegetables and fruits since I like the way I feel when I eat them.  So today I had calabacitas (zucchini, corn and garlic cooked in a chicken broth with a little cheese), grapes, a mandarin orange, a green salad with strawberries and almonds, and some hummus on red leaf lettuce.  Tomorrow I’m having almost the same stuff, just adding carrot chips to the mix.

So anyway…

Saturday night, my school had its senior prom.  I’d chaperoned it before, and decided that I would do it again.  The group of seniors that I teach this year  and I are pretty close.  I adore all of them, even the difficult ones, and so I wanted to share this milestone with them.

Not gonna lie, I was stylin’.

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Post-Op Week 93: It Messes With Your Mind

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Slow and steady wins the race, right?   This week I went veggie heavy and it seems to have paid off.  So I’ll be doing that again this week too.  I really like how I feel when I eat veggies, so this will be something that I continue to do.

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Post-Op Week 92: Craving Veggies

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Plodding along this week.  I ate more veggies this week, and liked how I felt afterward so I decided to go veggie heavy this week.  I think the extra fiber will also be good for me–hell, I know it will be.  I’m learning to listen more to what my body feels like having, and this week it really wanted more veggies.

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Post-Op Week 91: What I Deserve

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Funerals are a hell of a way to start a week.  Mourning + ovulation + work stress + general IDGAFery = up this week.  Thankfully, this week does not look to be terribly stressful, especially as side projects wind down and I can finally get back to the business of taking care of myself the way I deserve to.

This just keeping my head above water business isn’t cutting it, and I’m tired of just getting by.  That’s what it feels like I’ve done this year so far.  I deserve so much more than just getting by.  I don’t “just get by” in other areas of my life, so why when it comes to me is it acceptable?

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